hey guys sorry that i didn't right very much. I haven't had time to really sit down and write. I will add the articles in later.

Simple Destruction
Everyone has a road of life that is all their own, whether it is gravel with many different smooth coated pebbles or a dusty urban path with plush shady trees interspersed along its borders. Each person chooses which way to walk when the time comes to make that decision. Some may try to blame their parents for the road they received, some try to blame the influence of their surroundings, and some just choose to throw the fault onto themselves. But when the road forks the feet that have been skipping, dragging, running or stumbling lead the way. The path of life has begun. But for some the road that was chosen lead to heartache, tears and forever lasting effects that can never be reversed. The path that I chose and thousands of others was influenced by society but faulted by our hearts. The pull and drag of this pain left behind will never be lost or forgotten. What I speak of is a disease known as an eating disorder. This disease does not discriminate against age, race or gender; it only destroys its host and for many takes the very life right out of them. There are many different types of eating disorders that are inflicted upon its victims. Researchers have studied for years the effects of each type, whether it be bulimia, anorexia, purging or overeating. The data that has been collected is grave in its nature. To be honest, I am still suffering from the effects. These damages that I did to my body will linger with me like a ghost in the distance that continues to haunt until I will finally be at peace.
I never realized how much damage I did to my body until I went into a doctor’s appointment because my mother was worried that I wasn’t eating. I kept telling her that I was sick and that was why I was throwing up three to four times a day and didn’t have an appetite. They did the standard procedures, measuring my height, taking my temperature and checking my weight. My doctor diagnosed me with the common stomach flu that was growing in epidemic. She wanted to check in with me in a week to make sure that I was able to get my appetite back up to a normal level and gave me anti-vomiting pills to help with the constant times that I was throwing up. During that week I ate nothing and continued to make myself throw up. The last four days before my appointment I forced myself to not drink any fluids because I put the image in my head that I was gaining water weight and there was no way I was going to watch the numbers on the scale to go up. I was hearing myself saying that I was fat and I would pull at my skin and nit pick until tears welded up and streamed down my face. My mom would come in and look at me and just cry and have to walk out of the room because she couldn’t stand to look at her daughter waste away to nothing. My appointment lurked in my mind as I sat in the waiting room dreading the sound of my name as it would come out of one of the nurse’s mouth. It took great effort for me to walk down that long white corridor that lead to my worst enemy, the scale. They weighed me and I couldn’t even look at the number because I didn’t want to be disappointed and give away my deep, dark secret. I sat waiting for my doctor to come in and she held that clipboard tightly with her manicured nails lightly tapping the thin wood. My thoughts were racing. She looked at me and just shook her head. Then she told me exactly what I wanted to hear but not in the presence of my mom. I dropped twenty pounds in one week. There was a significant difference between my vitals before and what she took that day. I couldn’t stand for a minute without my head spinning and feeling like body was going to collapse under my knees. I will never forget the expression my mom had on her face when she looked at my chart in disbelief. Her mouth dropped and she instantly blamed herself for not seeing the signs from a sooner date. Everyone knew my secret and there was no mystery to why I was so “sick” anymore. My cover was blown and my path that I was traveling was never going to be the same.

http://www.cnn.com/2008/HEALTH/conditions/12/01/Hm.eating.disorders.holidays/index.html

http://www.people.com/people/article/0,,20049594,00.html

http://www.time.com/time/health/article/0,8599,1718069,00.html?xid=feed-cnn-topics

http://www.cnn.com/2007/WORLD/europe/09/26/anorexia.model/index.html#cnnSTCText

http://www.cnn.com/2007/HEALTH/03/15/BK.girls.body.image/index.html

Stricken
The haunting reflection shows an image that is unsatisfactory to the one that it represents. Constant picking, counting, changing, flustering, everything that is done is just never enough, just below the expected. Thousands of everyday people suffer from the view that is seen through their eyes in the mirror. It haunts many to points of extreme where measures are taken to get where the perceived image should make them. The thing that most people do not realize is that women are not the only ones that feel the pressure that society pushes into every crevice. Men suffer even as much as women do in many aspects when it comes down to body image. Whether the influence is a younger sister or brother, a picture plastered up on a wall or billboard or all those people on TV. Each and every person affected has their poison that eats away at the very essence of their being. Growing with the pain is where the real journey begins. Some are still left in the shadows never to recover but there is still hope in the future as long as the minds of the young are taught in every aspect, that beauty is not what we see but what we experience through ourselves and the diligence that it takes to hold heads up and not down. Some people have been fighting this from the beginning and others stumble in along the way but no matter what many different people whether it is sex or race suffer from the ill images that are perceived as beauty. This growing epidemic is crushing the short lives that we all have on this planet. Something needs to be done before eating disorders and surgeries gone wrong wipe out our entire generation and generations to come.
ProQuest presented some very disturbing statistics, “…American men underwent 690,361 cosmetic surgical procedures, including 217,083 hair-transplant operations and 54,106 liposuction procedures, not to mention surgery to augment their pectoral muscles, their buttocks, their calves and even their penises,”(article from ProQuest). The extreme measures that these men are going through are just so that they have that plastic action figure looking body so, as to the world they are “sexy”. This shocking evidence is not to be taken lightly; this problem is growing at a pace-quickening speed. When the numbers continue to increase the problems continue to escalade. Men are now becoming a part of the number of known people that have problems with the image that is seen in the mirror. People used to only picture women standing in front of the mirrors in the dressing rooms or at home critiquing every inch of their entire bodies, stating things resembling “ if only I could lose 20 more lbs” or “if I was skinnier I would wear that”, but now men fall into that equation. The images that are displayed everywhere are unreal and do not resemble the majority of people that wish to be similar to them. If beauty is what people want to see, show a mother helping her daughter get ready for her first high school dance, show a father holding his first child; show an elderly couple holding hands after being together for decades; that is what beauty should be represented as. Never should men think that if they want to get the “pretty girls” they need to look like the Barbie doll Ken. But that is not what this world represents. Beauty in this world is only skin deep and that is where the exploration of the human life ends and hell begins.
From personal experience, I have fallen into the unforgiving trap of caring about what other people think of me. It eats away at my heart everyday that I put so much into what I say and how I approach people and just what I look like. I try to play off like it doesn’t affect me but it does take a toll on me. I can get lost in my thoughts about what it would be like if all the eyes were on me when I entered a room, and what it would be like for someone to think that I am attractive but I know that if I would only back myself up that true beauty of who I really am would shine. The essence of my self being is corrupted by society and that being thin, and having long flowing hair and perfect skin is the only way to get noticed. It just takes a hold of its victim and squeezes until there is no life left to devour. I notice when a “hot” girl or a “sexy” guy walks in the room and yes I do stare. It is hard not to compare myself to the person even if I feel like I looked really good that day. It feels as though it is genetically transposed into my brain that looking or being a certain way is what I should represent. What should really be advertised is to live life in a way that there are no regrets and that beauty is more than just skin deep. The fact that this earth is still spinning and our lungs are still breathing in air should mean something, but the sad thing is that, thoughts like that are only a whisper comparing to the loud bombing that represents what we see.
According to an article from ProQuest, “Even models with buff bodies were paranoid about love handles. They wanted signed agreements that gave them the right to see how the other men looked,” (ProQuest). The models that a large portion of society think are perfect and wish and dream every night to look like nit pick and tear apart themselves, and this is who people want to be. It is just a vicious cycle that thousands are tangled in. the holes that people are digging themselves into is growing dramatically in size. People think that if they just looked even close to the people they see on TV, it would make their lives a much better place but even having that perfection doesn’t bring happiness. It is never enough. When is it going to be enough? When everyone looks like Ken and Barbie dolls. When are people going to learn? The fact that bullying and fighting is tolerated by kids is where it all starts and it ends in death. The hatred for oneself only seems to end when that person dies and can not feel anymore pain. And the cycle continues through the eyes of they’re witnesses. “But the pleasure is not without cost: Many men are now developing women’s maladies – a cruel cultural trick if ever there was one. ‘There’s a serious increase of eating disorders among men,’ Bordo said, ‘of steroid abuse, of exercise compulsion,’” (article from ProQuest). The tables are turning in the cruelest of ways, not only are women suffering from this illness that is quickly turning into a disease but now statistics are showing that the retched eating disorder is becoming more popular in men. An eating disorder controls the mind of the victim and latches on like a leech to the skin. It feasts on insecurities and doubts in oneself and truly weakens its host. There are many different types of eating disorders which include: anorexia, bulimia, purging and fasting. With reference to myself, I have suffered from both anorexia and bulimia. I was weakened to a point where I still have physical and emotional damage. With that knowledge and experience that I carry deep in my heart, fuels my desire to help create change; not only in myself but in the lives of others that I share my life with and even the ones that I do not.

Male and female

1. I believe that the masculine ideals are to look as though they are a plastic action figure dur to the fact that in magazines that is all that is seen when looking at noraml day life. On televison, in magazines, even just walking in the park, this type of look can be seen everywhere. It has been put into the minds of many guys from an early age that bigger muscle is sexier and flab is out. So growing up my good friend next door would always tell me that when he grows up he wants to be big like the guys he sees on t.v. becasue then pretty women will like him.

As for female ideals, the skinnier the better is what is in. When I was little i would always want to look like the girls that I saw on t.v. I was never happy with what I looked like becasue the girl always got the "hot" guy with her "hot" body. People see that being skinny is better becasue all the advertisements for clothes are usuually modeled by young and slender people. This is a horrible way to look at things but it is what it is. People think that what they see is beautiful and what they are is not becasue they do not match what they see.

This disturbs me because I have suffered from this for since before I can remember and I would never want any further generations to suffer from this but I know that the cycle will continue.

essay 4 peer review

Controversy over Homosexuality

Many literary analyst and teachers have stated that The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn should not be read due to the plethora of controversies that run through the veins of the novel. Whether the controversy is the ending or down to the gender aspects of the book, people have examined it and tried to determine if those controversies actually even existed among the pages that Twain wrote. Critical analyses have been made throughout this book including a controversy that from experience of reading this book in high school, I never believed to be true. The concept that many have argued for and against is whether there was a homosexual relationship between the two main characters, Huck and Jim. Christopher Looby argued that to state this would be taking the characters out of their setting and putting them into our modern day society with all the accusations that co-exist throughout the society. Fiedler was opposed to his argument, saying that there was in fact a relationship present, using examples of how Jim spoke to Huck in an endearing way to counter his statement.

According to Looby, “What we can say is that Twain portrayed a loving interracial male same-sex bond in all its dense affectional complexity, with all its social inscrutability, and portrayed it within the ambiguous and tragic historical circumstances that made it hard to understand and represent.”(pg.541). This is the argument that states exactly why the aspect of homosexuality can’t exist due to the time that the book was written. People during this time did not discuss the concepts of whether someone was homosexual or heterosexual. Looby had great opposition to Fiedler’s argument when she argued that the language and the way that Jim spoke to Huck defined their relationship. Though I paraphrase Jim would say “come on honey, come back to the raft”, and that is similar to the evidence that she would use to represent her argument that they indeed had a homosexual relationship. Looby defended his stand and stated that Fiedler was reading too far into the novel to come up with her argument. He used historical circumstances, defending the time in which the book was written and the setting of slavery.

Although Fiedler and Looby both represent their arguments well and validate their points with evidence from the text, I side with Looby due to how he presented his argument and from personal experience of reading this book multiple times and not finding any sufficient data to pull together homosexual aspects to this novel. Another person who argued a good point was Cruz, he stated that everyone is using their own political agenda when they examine the text. Basically he is saying that everyone person is going to look at this novel and see exactly what they want to see. They will use what they know from either personal experience or things they had read to represent the argument that is being presented.

Hello people! how is everyone doing today? Good, nice! Verddy Nice!